You Might Be A Swinger If:
- You are running out of reasons to tell your friends, family and coworkers why you can`t go out with them this weekend.
- You know most of your friends
names only as couples (Rich and Joy, Frank and Jen) but you dont know their last names.
- You go on vacation with three huge suitcases, yet are wearing the same outfit when you return as on you did when you left.
- You have already seen pictures of your friends naked before you ever met them in person.
- You can`t remember the last time you had all your pubic hair.
- Before traveling somewhere on business or for fun, you look up couples in the area.
- You worry about explaining to your neighbors what went on last weekend at your house.
- You never open your garage door until you`re in the car with the doors closed.
- Your gynecologist wonders why you`re asking for birth control when he knows that your husband has had a vasectomy.
- Your hot tub has never had a bathing suit worn in it.
- Your sex toy collection costs more than your china set.
- Your spouse is having an orgasm, while you are busy in the other room talking with friends.
- You giggle at the golf course when someone asks if they can join your foursome.
- The last thing you typically do at a party is search for your wife`s thong.
- You`ve hugged your friends goodnight while naked.
- The word
sluthas become a term of endearment.
- Going to a vanilla bar or on a vanilla vacation ranks right up there with a root canal.
- You`ve taken your vibrator with you to a dinner party.
- The term Vanilla isn`t just a flavor to you anymore.
- You are constantly encouraging your kids to spend the weekend at friends` houses.
- You panic when your friend`s digital camera goes missing.
- Your friends know what brand of condom you prefer.
- A hot tub is considered a necessity not a luxury.
- After 10+ years of marriage, people ask if you`re newlyweds.
- You`ve taken photos of yourself with your head out of frame And it was on purpose.
- You can`t decide which of your three naughty schoolgirl outfits you should wear this weekend.
- You frequently use the term
Friends of friendswhen explaining how you know certain people.
- You know which of your outfits looks best under a black light.
- You`re still smiling on Monday morning about something you did on Saturday night.
- You come home with that,
Theres Something About Mary` hairstyle.
- The babysitter wonders why you are always already wearing your full-length coat when she arrives.
- In the gym shower you`re the only guy with shaved balls.
- Half of your vacation photos were taken in your hotel room.
- You can expertly identify the tactile differences between every type of breast implant ever created.
- You know exactly which of your friends are allergic to latex.
- On vacation you set aside time to stage a bunch of photos that are acceptable to show to your family.
- You`ve become especially good at operating your digital camera with one hand.
- You`re in a public place and you swear you hear someone shout your SDC´s screen name.
- Before introducing them to your visiting family or friends, you pull your play friends aside and say,
OK, heres how we know each other…`
- You start having withdrawals after two days without internet access.
- When someone asks where you
re staying on your trip, you pretend that you cant remember the name of the resort.
- You ask a girlfriend to teach you:
That thing you do with your tongue that my husband enjoys so much.
- In the middle of sex with your spouse, you ask someone else to take over for a minute while you go to the restroom.
- You have an entire external hard-drive devoted to nothing but your party photos.
- The first thing you do checking into a hotel is to ask for a lot of extra towels.
- You`ve handed out business cards to people, but the cards have nothing to do with your occupation.
- The only time you go out with your vanilla friends is when you`re on your period.
- You erase your computer`s browser history and cache every time you leave your computer.
ve had sex with more people since youve been married than you did when you were single.
- You spent twice as long on your online SDC´s profile than you did on your resume.
We have lots. why list here when we can act them out when we meet!
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